7dp3dt

Trying so hard to not go crazy during this 2ww. 

I am trying to have faith in the impossible - that this could work despite there being no reasons to lead me to believe it has. That God has a plan for me, a plan for good things and hope and a future.

But it is hard. I basically have zero symptoms. The cramping has pretty much stopped altogether and I am not really having any of these other symptoms that so many girls seem to have. At the same time, I don't feel like AF is coming. I just feel nothing. Good, actually.

I don't think I am going to POAS. I just can't handle the disappointment if it's a no.

3dp3dt and Frozen Babies

Things have been going well so far during the arduous wait. I have had light cramping on and off since transfer - is this normal, or does it already spell doom for me? I have been so worried that it is toxins killing my babies. Then, when it stops, I worry about why it has stopped! It's easily relieved with Tylenol or rest. Husband thinks it's left over soreness from enlarged ovaries and a traumatic transfer.

In other news - I am happy to report that we have two frozen embryos! I cannot tell you how ecstatic I was to get that call today. Of course I had been praying for all five to make it, but I know that just doesn't happen very often. I am thrilled that I have two. One is a 5BB and the other is a 4BB. Of course I have no idea what that means, but the nurse said it was good and that they were frozen today on day 6. Excellent candidates for future babies. Either way, I am just so happy to have a second chance at this.

Blood test is Feb. 16!

Transfer

Transfer was this morning! We transferred two Grade A- embryos (or Grade AB in other scales), one 8-cell and one 7-cell. It hasn't been quite 3 days yet, so I am hoping the 7-cell has already divided again! Doc was very pleased and said they were great embryos. I have two pictures of them I keep staring at today.

The transfer itself did not go great. I have had very easy IUIs and my mock transfer was also smooth. Since one of my ovaries is enlarged it was pressing on my uterus and bladder, causing my cervix to be hard to reach and for them to have trouble reaching the uterus once they got in. The whole thing took about 30 minutes!

On Monday or Tuesday we should know how many we have to freeze. All were still going strong today and I was so happy to hear that! Four of them were a grade B and between 6-10 cells and the fifth was lagging behind a bit. 

Doc doesn't think bed rest is necessary, so I am just taking it easy and relaxing around the house for the next few days! Husband and I are enjoying being pregnant for the first time that we know of in our life. Stick and grow little babies!

Retrieval and Fertilization

Retrieval went pretty well yesterday. Out of all the things I was terrified of, the one thing I never thought twice about ended up being hellish.

They couldn't get an IV started in me and had to poke around several times. By the final time I was lying on my back in complete agony, screaming, cursing and crying. Most excruciating pain I have ever felt. They had to get the anesthesiologist in there for a try, and she dug around in my thin wrist for about five minutes hitting my nerves and bone over and over again. It was so bad that had I known in advance it was going to happen I would have called the whole thing off. Yes, that bad.

Fortunately the retrieval itself was great, recovery was smooth and I feel great today! They retrieved 10 eggs! Out of those 10, 8 were mature and 7 fertilized with ICSI.

I was a little bummed. I was hoping for a better response and more mature eggs because I am only 28 - but it is what is, and I am so very lucky and blessed to have seven embryos growing! We are praying that they each make it through the night.

My nurse sounded as if they were leaning more towards a three day transfer for me. I feel like most people I read about do five day transfers - so I am worried doing a three day won't be as good or something. I honestly don't know that much about either, so feel free to enlighten me! The nurse said it all depended on my embryos - how many are still growing tomorrow, if they can clearly tell which ones are the best by tomorrow, etc. 

I am off work today and tomorrow. So another day of waiting on pins and needles for that phone call!

Day 10 Update

Triggering tonight!

10 follicles right around 20 mm. One at 14 and one at 26 (really, really hoping it is not too mature at retrieval! I can't believe it jumped up 4 mm in size in just one day!) Lining was 11.5 mm.

Retrieval Wednesday. Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement. 

Just kidding - Believe it or not, Doc wants me to go one more night on a much lower dosage. Trigger is still tonight (1:30 a.m. - AHHH!!) and retrieval is Wednesday at 12:30 p.m. Hoping I don't have too hard of a time with the no food/drink thing for that long! Estrogen is at 3,396. Holy crap!

Day 9 Update

Tonight is my last night of stims!

At my ultrasound this  morning I had ten follicles between 17-22 mm, with most being right around 20 mm. I also had two smaller ones at 9 and 12 mm. Doc wanted to give those two time to catch up and the bigger ones one extra day since my estrogen levels were good.

I have one more appointment tomorrow - trigger tomorrow night, egg retrieval on Wednesday~!

Day 7 Update

Today's monitoring appointment went well. I am not as stoked as I was on Wednesday because now I only have nine follicles above 10 mm, but I am still feeling good. I grew one extra one, and lost three. I don't understand why that happened, but Doc still seemed pleased and said I was doing great.

Lefty had five follicles between 13-15 mm. I was very glad about this! This is my "bad" ovary and it is possible the endometrioma is hiding 1-2 more good sized follies. In other good news, the moma has shrunk instead of grown! 

Righty had only four follicles. This is where I became stumped. This is my "good" ovary and on Wednesday it had shown seven, so three did not keep growing at the same rate. And the sizes weren't as close together as lefty. The four he measured were between 11-17 mm. Praying hard and hoping strong that they all grow to the right size and the big one doesn't get too big.

So altogether I had nine measurable follicles. I also had 10 follicles under 10 mm, making for a total of 19 follies. There is a chance some of those could catch up, and I am really hoping that they do! My prayer this entire cycle has been for more than 10 mature follicles at retrieval. (And obviously a healthy pregnancy and baby too!)

I will find out later today what my estrogen levels are and schedule my next appointment for Sunday or Monday. Doc is probably going to keep me on the same dosage that I have been on since the beginning because it seems to be working well. My lining was right at 10 mm and tri-linear, so we are getting closer!

Update: Just got the call that we are staying on the same dosage tonight, but decreasing to 300 iu of Follistim on Saturday. Next appointment is Sunday morning. My estogren is at 1,338 - does anyone know if this is good?