Day 10 Update

Triggering tonight!

10 follicles right around 20 mm. One at 14 and one at 26 (really, really hoping it is not too mature at retrieval! I can't believe it jumped up 4 mm in size in just one day!) Lining was 11.5 mm.

Retrieval Wednesday. Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement. 

Just kidding - Believe it or not, Doc wants me to go one more night on a much lower dosage. Trigger is still tonight (1:30 a.m. - AHHH!!) and retrieval is Wednesday at 12:30 p.m. Hoping I don't have too hard of a time with the no food/drink thing for that long! Estrogen is at 3,396. Holy crap!

Day 9 Update

Tonight is my last night of stims!

At my ultrasound this  morning I had ten follicles between 17-22 mm, with most being right around 20 mm. I also had two smaller ones at 9 and 12 mm. Doc wanted to give those two time to catch up and the bigger ones one extra day since my estrogen levels were good.

I have one more appointment tomorrow - trigger tomorrow night, egg retrieval on Wednesday~!

Day 7 Update

Today's monitoring appointment went well. I am not as stoked as I was on Wednesday because now I only have nine follicles above 10 mm, but I am still feeling good. I grew one extra one, and lost three. I don't understand why that happened, but Doc still seemed pleased and said I was doing great.

Lefty had five follicles between 13-15 mm. I was very glad about this! This is my "bad" ovary and it is possible the endometrioma is hiding 1-2 more good sized follies. In other good news, the moma has shrunk instead of grown! 

Righty had only four follicles. This is where I became stumped. This is my "good" ovary and on Wednesday it had shown seven, so three did not keep growing at the same rate. And the sizes weren't as close together as lefty. The four he measured were between 11-17 mm. Praying hard and hoping strong that they all grow to the right size and the big one doesn't get too big.

So altogether I had nine measurable follicles. I also had 10 follicles under 10 mm, making for a total of 19 follies. There is a chance some of those could catch up, and I am really hoping that they do! My prayer this entire cycle has been for more than 10 mature follicles at retrieval. (And obviously a healthy pregnancy and baby too!)

I will find out later today what my estrogen levels are and schedule my next appointment for Sunday or Monday. Doc is probably going to keep me on the same dosage that I have been on since the beginning because it seems to be working well. My lining was right at 10 mm and tri-linear, so we are getting closer!

Update: Just got the call that we are staying on the same dosage tonight, but decreasing to 300 iu of Follistim on Saturday. Next appointment is Sunday morning. My estogren is at 1,338 - does anyone know if this is good?

Day 5 Update

Thanks for all the encouragement on my last post! The injections weren't bad at all, and everything has been going smoothly since then. I was having Husband give them to me but found that it is easier for me to do them myself - he gets all the shots set up each night, I give them and then he cleans up. Works out well!

My first two monitoring appointments have been really good. They have been telling me my estrogen levels are great, and I haven't asked for the numbers because I know I will just Google the heck out of it. I had my first ultrasound after stims today, and I am so happy to say that Doc counted at least 11 follicles measuring between 8-12 mm! I was praying so hard for more than 10 at this appointment. Some other good news is that the endometrioma hasn't grown or taken any of the stims, and Doc also said it was probably hiding 1-2 follicles that he couldn't count. My lining was already tri-linear and 8 mm thick.

I have no idea if that is a good number or size for follicles on Day 5, but Doc seemed pleased and is keeping me on the same dosage. He said we are looking to be on target for retrieval on Jan. 31, but he should have a better idea at our next appointment. Until then I'm just resting, doing acupuncture and trying to be stress-free and just enjoy this crazy ride!

Suppression Check = Pass!

Everything looked good at our baseline ultrasound today! Doc's ultrasound machine wasn't working at it's best today, but he was still able to count 10 antral follicles! I am pleased with this because not only is it two more than my check two weeks ago, but there are most likely more that he didn't see because the machine was really acting up.

Unfortunately he was still able to see the endometrioma on my left ovary. It is either two moma's between 1-2 cm or one moma between 2-3 cm. He said it was probably just the one because they were so close together. Sigh. I will admit I prayed and hoped for a miracle - but my E2 was nice and low (35) so Doc doesn't think they will interfere with the IVF and we were given the green light to start stims on Saturday!

We are so excited and also scared. We have been on cloud 9 lately feeling like we are closer to our dream than ever before. Husband said that after we got off the phone today (I called him to let him know we were good to go) that a feeling of complete euphoria and confidence washed over him. I am hoping that was directly from God. I am leaning on his positiveness so much - I am feeling good, but I also understand the reality of it not working.

We had to do all of our infectious disease testing after our appointment today. Five vials of blood for each of us = not fun! I am hoping the stims won't be that bad. I anticipate each shot so much and then it is never as bad as I think it will be. Nevertheless, I am getting a little antsy about the new shots. So throw any encouragement you have my way! We will be starting with 375 IU of Follistim, 75 IU of Menopur and 5 ml of Lupron each night.

Feelings, oh feelings!

Things have been all over the place for me lately with emotions - and I haven't even started stims yet! We started lupron injections a few nights ago and they have been going pretty well so far. Husband has been a rock star prepping everything and giving them to me. I plan to do a post on his awesomeness later.

In my reading of IVF blogs, one common theme seems to be the constant shift in feelings. One day you are overcome with peace and confidence - you know this is going to work, this is finally your time! The next day you hit the wall of worry and anxiety. What if it doesn't work? How will you go on? What will you do next? Commence tons of Google searches that don't help with any of the worry. 

Following that you hit the wall of utter despair. This will never work, it's not going to work, I can just feel it. Why am I wasting my money and time on this? Cue tears and gnashing of teeth. Then start all over again.

As I roll through this wave of emotions, I am trying to keep focused on God. I don't know what His plan is for this cycle, and there is no amount of ANYTHING I can do to find out before it's time. All I can do is pray and put everything in His hands and the capable care of my medical team. Praying, praying, praying every day that this IVF cycle will bring us the joy of a baby or babies! Our hearts have been hurting for so long.

We are so excited about this IVF cycle. This is the best we have felt about any of our treatments thus far. And I know feelings don't mean anything - but having the good ones is sure nice. We have even gone so far as to start talking about our future with our baby or babies, something we haven't done in a long time. We keep saying, "After the babies get here" and "Once we have the baby." I know this is dangerous, but this may be the closest we ever get to pregnancy and I want to enjoy it!

Mock Transfer

We had our mock transfer this week. It went well, despite the intense discomfort from having such a full bladder. Note to self - do not drink so much for the actual transfer! I have had quite a few full bladder procedures and each time I overdrink and it is not fun.

We did have some not-so-good news as well that I am still processing. Doc was supposed to do an SHG after the mock transfer, but since I had a hysteroscopy 8 months ago and an HSG a year ago, both of which were normal, he didn't think it was necessary. But we did do an ultrasound to measure antral follicles.

Righty, which is my good ovary, had only five antral follicles. Lefty had three and an unwanted visitor. Yes, that's right, folks. My endo is already growing back. I had a small, 2 cm endometrioma growing inside lefty.

To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I know endo grows back, there is no getting rid of it. I have had persistent cysts on that ovary for years. I guess I was being delusional hoping that it would be different for me and nothing would have grown back yet. I really wanted clear ovaries for this IVF. Doc said he thought it would be fine and doesn't see a need to do anything about it right now. He is of the camp that only does laparoscopy for diagnostic purposes if you are TTC because it can hurt your egg supply. So I'm going with that! Praying it won't harm our outcome.

Now for the other downer - I only had an AFC of 8. That really sucks. That is the lowest I have ever had. I normally average around 12 or 13. I have had anything between 9-16 in the past year. I was immediately silent after he finished counting and when we got dressed and sat down in his office I about lost it. 

I asked him if we should just cancel the cycle because it looks like at the most I could only get 8 eggs. He looked at me like I was crazy and reassured me that my AFC was low because I have been on active birth control, no AF, for two months now. He also told me that just because he only sees 8 now doesn't mean we will have 8. We could have way more, we could have less. He was confident that this would work for us and gave us a 50-60 percent chance.

That did make me feel much better, and after googling my brains out it seems that this is correct. Any of you have experience with low AFC or stimming with endometriomas? BTW, this was not my baseline ultrasound before starting stims. That isn't for another two weeks.