Harry Potter Infertility

I have decided to get a basilisk. Then, every time someone decides to announce their pregnancy it will go like this.

Prego: Guess what, we're pregnant! And it only took two and a half days - it was so hard waiting, but we finally got pregnant!
Orange Girl: Fantastic! Guess what, I am not pregnant, so I got a basilisk instead. (Begins speaking in parseltounge.)

Basilisk attacks Prego and eats her. Problem solved. No more pregnancy announcements, because I will just sic my big ole, big ole basilisk on people. You better watch out. That girl's got a basilisk and she ain't kidding around.